she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
