I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
