hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
