It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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