Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
