the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
