Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
