found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
