Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
