He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
