I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
