ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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