I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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