come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
