why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize