So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
