so explain again why im purple
no
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
