its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
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