Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
