It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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