Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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