We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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