And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
