Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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