We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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