woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I party with great urgency now.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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