You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
