oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
