you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Randomize
