Farmville is her only friend.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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