watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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