I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
