I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
