I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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