I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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