matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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