he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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