I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
bring money and cleavage
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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