im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
