girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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