I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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