roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
