genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Randomize
