I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It's blow job season.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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