his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
