Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
