maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
His nipple licking is glorious
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