Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
