i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
