I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
