I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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