I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
