So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
