so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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