Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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