I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
