NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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