i can't believe i had my finger in that
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
