Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
