I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm like, not good at living.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
