i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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